


Sunset

by NidHeddarra



Series: Modern-verse [4]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hela being comforted, Hela being held, Hela being loved, Hela has a sad past, Hopefully not too much, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Lots of Crying, This just happened and there's a lot of feels, all the feels, more dialogue than my other fics, this is basically a gay mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 20:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18581992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NidHeddarra/pseuds/NidHeddarra
Summary: You have a lot of bad brain days but that doesn't mean you're the only one that does. Sometimes Hela has them too.





	Sunset

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise? I don't normally get the urge to write this much but here we are. Hopefully this is okay because it was quite difficult to write and I still dunno how well this reads since I edit everything myself. Which is why I'm posting it now at Midnight because then I can't overthink about it.

Hela is quiet and solemn. Her eyes stare at the city and the sun as early evening began to settle in. You’re trying not to be too obvious while checking on her but you have a feeling it wouldn’t matter. From the lost look in Hela’s eyes to the defeated slump in her shoulders you can tell that today has not been the kindest to your Goddess love.

 

She doesn’t always tell you what she thinks about when she’s down like this. But considering the look she gets in her eyes whenever Odin is even mentioned you can hazard a small guess. Being locked away for as long as she was must have left scars.

 

You’ve been together with Hela long enough to know that she more than earned the title of Goddess of Death. You know about the Valkyrie and the pain it brought Hela to battle against those she considered kin. You know that she hates Odin for locking her away and she hates herself for the pain and havoc she caused. She also takes too much blame even though from what you can see Odin did his own wrongs to worsen the situation too.

 

Part of your relationship is built on pain. On knowing what it’s like to have nightmares others couldn’t understand. Both of you knew what it was like to be seen as a monster and both of you are working to better yourselves.

 

Hela just hasn’t realized that she deserves to heal yet. And neither have you if you’re being honest with yourself. You still have days where you wake up and feel like you don’t deserve the air you breathe. It makes your heart ache when you think about Hela feeling like that too.

 

Sensing your silent worry Hela turned towards you a little and just gazed at you. Normal people would have squirmed under such intensity but not you. Hela has never overwhelmed you or made you feel like you’re crazy despite your CPTSD and everything it entailed. If anything being underneath the full power of Hela’s gaze made you feel safe.

 

“I’ve killed thousands upon thousands upon _thousands_ of people. Both deserving and undeserving. And at first I wasn’t guilty. Until Odin forced me into that hole and left me there to rot with the demons I had created. What would your therapist say about that? What advice do you think she would give me?”

 

That wasn’t a loaded question at all.

 

You finished making the tea Hela liked the most and brought it to her.

 

“I don’t think I can presume to know all that my therapist would say but I know what I would say. It’s not much but it’s yours if you want to hear it?”

 

Hela took her black mug from you and kissed your knuckles softly. “I always want to hear what you have to say love.”

 

You bent down a bit and left a lingering kiss on Hela’s brow before sitting in the window seat behind her and bringing Hela’s tall, muscular, frame into your more compact one. She settled back and cradled her mug close while letting her head rest back on your shoulder.

 

The sun was closer to setting now. Pinks, reds, violets, and orange began to paint the sky in explosive color.

 

“I think that sometimes there are things we do that can’t always be forgiven. For humanity our greatest strength and our greatest weakness are the same thing. We’re all flawed and none of us really know what we’re doing with the time that we have.”

 

Hela freed a hand and took yours in hers, resting her palm on the back of yours.

 

“How does that connect with me little bean?”

 

You kissed the side of Hela’s head feeling protective of her despite the quietness of her grief.

 

“Because at the end of the day all we can ever do is our best. Sometimes we fuck up, we stumble, we fall. Sometimes people hurt us and make us believe that we are less. Sometimes we’re the ones doing the hurting. It’s part of the journey to happiness that we’re all on.”

 

You could feel wet droplets landing on your arms and hands. Hela had your hand in an almost painful grip. Her tea set aside as she silently shook against your dense little frame.

 

“What if I don’t believe that I deserve this happiness?”

 

You hugged Hela closer and pressed a kiss into her temple. “Then I’ll believe it for both of us until you do. And you can believe for me when I don’t think I deserve happiness either.”

 

Hela sobbed harshly.

 

“Why?”

 

 Filled with the most intense love and pain for Hela you shifted till she was able to look into your watery eyes with her own weeping ones. You didn’t hesitate to brush away the tears lingering on Hela’s cheeks with your thumbs gently.

 

“Because I love you. You make me feel like I matter. Like the sun rising is a good thing because that means I get to work on being a better me for both of us. And because I don’t believe everything that happened to you was just your fault.”

 

Hela let her head rest in your hands and sobbed again her eyes closing from the pain of it. You rested your brow on hers and waited till she was looking at you again.

 

“You are worth so much more than your sins Hela. Every time we talk your worry for your people is in your words but so is your complete devotion and care. You decided to listen to your siblings and the people of Asgard. You decided to rebuild and fix what you could instead of lashing out. Don’t you see how strong you are because of that?”

 

Your voice wouldn’t stop cracking from the weight of your emotions but you kept going, determined.

 

“You’re the most courageous, stunning, loving woman I have ever met in my entire life. And I hold onto the hope and the belief that someday you’ll feel such a deep level of joy that it’ll infect the people around you.”

 

Hela shattered and broke down into the most painful sobs you had ever heard in your life. You didn’t hesitate to bring Hela into your chest where she curled into you and just let herself break.

 

You didn’t say anything else. Just kissed the top of her head and thought with all your might.

 

Kiss, _I love you,_ kiss, _I love you,_ kiss, _I have you._

 

You let Hela grieve and watched the last of the sunset outside your window. Time passed and your legs and back started to cramp from your position but you didn’t move from your spot. All that mattered was giving Hela a place to safely break and fall.

 

When the sky was dark and the stars were out Hela stopped sobbing and instead rested against you with silent tears running down her cheeks.

 

“I don’t know why I cried like that.”

 

You shrugged and kissed your girlfriend softly.

 

“It happens sometimes. Don’t worry over it sweets. How about we go cuddle in my bed?”

 

Hela wiped the last of the tears from her face and nodded wearily. “Yes please.”

 

After untangling from each other you went to your bathroom and started getting ready for bed. Hela joined after changing into a pair of your boxers and one of your big sleepshirts. You had to bite your lip to hold in your squee at how precious Hela looked in your clothing.

 

“I assumed you wouldn’t mind?” Hela curled a bit into herself and you were struck with how fragile she looked in that moment. You wanted to both fight the world and everyone who had ever wronged Hela while also simultaneously convincing her that everything was going to be okay.

 

Was this how she felt when you got triggered or had a bad brain day?

 

“It’s perfectly fine love. What’s mine is yours. Now let's go cuddle yeah? Do you need to wash your face at all?”

 

Hela shook her head in the negative. “I did that in the other bathroom before changing.”

 

“I figured but I didn’t want to assume. Come on love.”

 

With the apartment locked up and all the lights turned off both of you got into bed and immediately gravitated towards each other. Hela rested her head over your heart and you let your fingers run through her hair.

 

“I love you (N) more than anything. Thank you for being there for me tonight.”

 

You nuzzled into Hela’s hair a bit and gave her a soft squeeze.

 

“Forever and always love. Forever and always.”

 

Despite the pain of the day you knew that things were going to get better. You’d hold onto that for both Hela and yourself for as long as needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or anything Marvel related.


End file.
